Gimme the Emergency Exit, and make it Snappy!!

Crocodile Airplane

Incredible. Once again the stupidity of airline passengers is illustrated perfectly in this sadly all too believable tale of a woman who refused to move her metre-long cuddly crocodile toy from blocking the Emergency Exit of a Ryanair flight. You know the type; They applaud like morons when you land (what are they gonna do if you crash, boo?)

They are out of their seats like a greyhound out of a trap the SECOND those wheels hit the ground. How many times have you seen it? The seat belts signs are clearly illuminated, the stewardess has specifically reiterated the need to remain in your seats…..and….THERE THEY ARE! The moron that decides to hell with regulations, I want my mobile phone out of my unfeasibly large handbag NOW, because Im going to text someone regardless of the risk of igniting the aviation fuel because its all about me, me, ME!

This is the kind of attitude which has led me to suffer at the hands of Ryanair, who now have draconian laws preventing me from stowing my guitar in the overhead lockers.

I’ve already waxed lyrical about the joys of airline travel in my post Airline Etiquette, but oh, there’s so much more to say. Thank you, Mrs. Two-weeks-in-Benidorm-respite-from-a squalid-council-house-existence, you really take the biscuit.

The crocodile woman is one such person. What kind of mentality actually thinks its okay to argue that their stupid damned toy should block the emergency exit? It’s no wonder most of the Ryanair stewardesses go around with a face like a slapped arse, who can blame them, when they have to contend with this sort of pond life?

One can only hope that when this idiot gets home, the crocodile becomes possessed by the spirit of Steve Irwin, and the bugger bites her. 

Kev Moore

Art by Miki and Kev Moore

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3 Responses to “Gimme the Emergency Exit, and make it Snappy!!”

  1. We must create a petition Kev for “guitars.” The hallmark of Rock and Roll!!!
    Music is the universal language and a smart executive would pick up on that and use the idea of the “guitar” to promote their services “We will fly you anywhere!” Great post Kev and got me going. Hrrrrrr!!!!!

  2. You know Michael, when they first started with this policy of banning instruments from the passenger cabins, the London Symphony Orchestra I believe it was, staged a protest, arguing that they sure as hell wouldnt let violins worth thousands into the hands of the baggage handlers!

  3. Kevin,

    Elevate your feet and take a couple of aspirin. If you get upset by every twit you encounter, your blood pressure will be continually spiked. There are enough morons on earth for us to each have our own 100.

    That is a beauty of a plane. I wonder if I can get my special diet needs of live chicken?

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