I'm sorry to tell you fellas, it's not intimidating and macho - you just look like a bunch of twats..
It’s soapbox time, folks. So I drove down to Alicante airport to collect my son and his friend for a holiday over in Spain with me. We drove down to our place in Mojacar. After grabbing a bite to eat at Subway, we were heading home in the car around midnight. We were pulled over at a roundabout by at least 6 Guardia Civil officers, shining torches in our faces. I provided I.D., Driving licence, Insurance. They noticed the insurance seemed to have expired and I tried to explain that it had been paid by bank direct debit and was up to date. I called my partner Miki, who speaks fluent Spanish, but they refused to speak to her, just kept jabbering on at me in 100mph Spanish. They ordered me, my 16 year-old son, and his friend out of the car, searched us all, all our bags, the car…and came out with a knife. It is a tiny, foldaway knife that Miki uses for sharpening her pencils for art, and occasionally for cutting chorizo or cheese when we’re travelling. They treated this “find” as though I was an armed terrorist. They kept on at me, until eventually I said, “you speak to my partner on this phone, or you speak to me in English”.
Reluctantly, the least psychopathic of the gang, for that is what they were, an armed gang in a uniform, spoke to Miki, telling her there was a law against carrying weapons. Well, I wasn’t carrying it, and I subsequently have discovered it is too short to qualify for their law. They kept it, of course, eventually letting us go.
My car is Spanish registered, road tested and insured and I was carrying my licence. These thugs love these roadside dick-measuring contests. Franco’s spirit is alive and well here, living in the rotten fascist underbelly. Spain needs to shake off this corrupt, bullying image, or the people who brought money and prosperity to this country will up and leave and bestow it elsewhere. You can see it in the Guardia Civil’s eyes. They are the bully at school, given a gun and a uniform and the chance to show off. It’s sickening.
A Guardia Civil chappie showing off his Penis substitute recently...
The Musiquarium 